Monday 14 February 2011

Day One Year Zero



Not to make fun of the bloody history of Cambodia but in my own life a revolution has taken place. Today (St.Valentine's Day) no I didn't plan it that way, is the first day of my new job working from home.


I wish it meant my first day as April 24/7 but I hope that will come this year. That is my plan, that is my goal and this job is a big part of it, fingers crossed it will allow me the freedom to finally be me.


I am at the computer dressed casually as April, jeans, bra, white t-shirt, a little eye makeup, wonderfully normal.


Lots of challenges ahead but I am excited, I was ready to go this morning, I have not looked forward to getting to work for some time. I am basically doing the same job I did before but more responsibility and more creative control.


I didn't get out on the weekend as we had lots of family stuff going on. I was "J's" escort to a formal affair at a very exclusive country club. It was a dinner for her company. Lots of looking for a dress beforehand, for her not me, I just wore my black suit. She looked great in her new outfit, black too, I think all the women in attendance wore black...very funereal.


Looked enough like a guy though my hair is too long. "J" later told me I was sitting too feminine. To make matters worse I was unsure what to drink, "J" says order a Cosmopolitan. All the guys are drinking beer and I am walking around with a pink drink in a Martini glass, only the little umbrella was missing.


Interacted well enough though an undercurrent of sadness as I felt somewhat the impostor and somewhat too comfortable in a role I wish I could abandon. Still a really nice evening out.


Hugs,


April